The board is set. The pieces are moving. Let there be blood!!
What it is LAMBs. Sebastian from Films From the Supermassive Black Hole here, ready to satisfy your cravings with another edition of Clash of the Lambs. Every week, I pit character against character and leave it to you to decide the victor. What’s that? You cheer for blood? By jove, you’ll have it!
For those who missed it, a recap of last weeks fight. After giving my PR department a piece of my mind, I turned my attention to the fight at hand. This was one of the closest fights in Clash history. Every contestant dealt a deadly blow to others, but only one came out on top in the end. With the Na’vi in the sky on its Ikran, the Tripod towering over the field, and the Prawn in its mech suit, there was no clear favorite in the beginning. The tripod fired its heat ray at the Na’vi while trying to lasso up the Prawn with its tentacles. The Na’vi ran strafing runs on both parties, firing its wicked arrows with deadly precision. The Prawn’s superior firepower lay waste to the Tripod’s shields, and brought down the Na’vi warrior’s mount, sending the blue alien crashing to the ground. The Pandora native did not take kindly to that, and immediately sent an arrow flying at the Prawn, penetrating its armor, and instantly killing it. With the refugee out of the way, the shield-less Tripod and the mount-less Na’vi turned to face each other. It was tricky. The Tripod was relentless with its heat ray, but the Na’vi was too quick. It got up on the machine’s shell, and attempted to get in. Unfortunately, the Tripod sent a tentacle up to ensnare the Na’vi. With the it’s opponent captured, the Tripod sent a out a burst of heat ray, disintegrating the creature from Pandora.
The Tripods: 9 Votes (Did not see that coming, to be honest.)
The Na’vi: 8 Votes (Guess being wealthier than some countries can only take you so far.)
The Prawns: 7 Votes (If only they had the sweetie man.)
So, get this. I walk into my office of pain this morning, and who do I find, but the Predator, all sombre and badass, the Xenomorph’s skull still clutched in its hands. It was not happy. It did not like the fact that there was another extra-terrestrial out there that could soundly defeat multitudes of other species. How I figured out that this is what he meant is beyond me, as Predator’s only talk in growls and roars. Anyway, his point came across. The hunter wanted to challenge the Tripod in one-on-one combat for the title of True Intergalactic Badass! I was getting weary of all this alien tomfoolery, but, those wrist blades are mighty effective instruments in persuasion. As I write this, my IT guys are working on a new robotic arm for me. Anyway, my hands were tied. We have a Championship Match in store for us this week.
As always, let’s not make it a popularity contest. The Predator may have taken down the Xenomorph and the guys who blew up the White House, but that heat ray looks mighty dangerous for over here. The Tripod may have taken down the most profitable aliens of all time, but, a lot of the machine is made from organic material, and those wrist blades of the Predator’s are wicked sharp. I should know. Think about it. Who would actually win?
Reminder: If you have ideas of fights you’d like to see played out in the ring, don’t be coy little sheep. Sound off in the comments section or send an e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org. I will do everything in my power to make sure your bloodlust is satiated.
Alright, well, my new arm has been fitted on, and is working quite nicely. The Predator is activating its cloaking device. The Tripod is warming up its heat rays. I think it’s about to time to start. The crowd is going wild. Let’s make it happen!
3! 2! 1! FIGHT!!!
This is the last alien fight for awhile, I promise.