The board is set. The pieces are moving. Let there be blood!
What it is LAMBs! Sebastian from Films From the Supermassive Black Hole here, ready to watch you drown in death with another edition of Clash of the Lambs. Every week, I pit character against character, and leave it to you, the voter to decide the victor. What’s that? You cheer for blood? By jove, you’ll have it!
Before we continue, a recap of last week’s fight.
Uh, yeah. Patrick Bateman won. Not surprised there. Jigsaw gets by sneaking up on his victims, capturing them, and forcing them into traps. Well, that plan was screwed from the second the fight started, since Bateman could see his opponent from the start. He just ran up to him, beat him in the head with an axe, all while screaming about reservations at some restaurant, or something like that. Kinda anti-climatic.
Patrick Bateman: 10 Votes (His was the best business card after all.)
John Kramer aka Jigsaw: 5 Votes (A game he couldn’t win.)
Well, people. The time has come. The beginning of this feature highlighted a lot of people and characters who are skilled in the art of death. Put simply, they kill a lot of things in their movies. But, to ask who would win in a fight amongst two killing machines is not the point of this feature. No, the point is to ask, who would win in a fight between two characters who have never held a weapon in their lives. I was testing the waters, seeing how the reception of the feature was. It’s been great, so now the real fun can begin. We’ll still focus on some great cinematic warriors, but we’ll also focus on guys like this.
Musicals have been making a comeback of sorts into the modern day film industry, haven’t they. Where once there were none, there are now one of two. Burlesque opened this past weekend, and, despite the fact that it has been reported to suck harder than a Hoover, it tops off the growing trend. This week’s fight will focus on two male musical stars, one from way back when, and the one who was responsible for the current uptick. Enjoy.
I can’t really say anything to the point here, so I’ll just let the contestants sing for themselves.
Fighter 1: Any Fred Astaire Character Ever
Fighter 2: Christian
As always, don’t make it popularity contest. You’ve heard this jargon before. You know the deal. Don’t do it!
Once again people, e-mail your damn ideas! I know you have them. I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!!!!
Well, I think everyone’s all set. Both men have warmed up their vocal chords sufficiently. The crowd is going nuts. Let’s make it happen!
3! 2! 1! FIGHT!!!