Trailer Trashing with The Vern: 04/09/2013.

by The Vern · April 9, 2013 · Periodic Features, Trailer Trash · 2 Comments

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Yes, yes, I know I know. I was supposed to post these Trailer Trash sections at least once a week,but things got busy and I just couldn’t do it. On top of contributing articles to other great sites including The Lamb.  I also edit the As You Watch podcast, try to keep my other blogs updated, and also work a good amount of hours so I can afford to live in a place where I can bring you these articles. So yes from time to time. I will be late in presenting these Trailer Trashing sections to you fine and wonderful Lammies. I know by the time I post these you may have already seen these trailers already, but I will try to keep these as updated as best as I can. So let’s get to chowing down on some tasty trailer tidbits.

Carrie. 10/18/2013

“They’re all gonna laugh at you”.

That is one of the lines I remember best about Brian DePalma’s original version about the girl with telekinetic powers. Yes that movie is a bit dated,but I really could buy Sissy Spacek being the outcast more than I could Chloe Moretz Grace.  Carrie is supposed to be somewhat homely looking and I never got that impression from watching this trailer. The casting of Julianne Moore as the mother does have me interested in checking this one out, but when all is said and done. I do belive the original will still be the most remembered.

Only God Forgives. 07/19/2013

Ryan Gosling and director Nicolas Winding Refn get back in the “Drive“r seat(get it, yeah that’s right folks I’m all about cheap puns and bad jokes) to bring us a brand new movie. I don’t know too much about the story except that involves a drug smuggler’s(Gosling) attempt to avenge his brother’s death out in Bangkok. I am a fan of Refn’s other movies and do look forward to this one. He has this way of mixing very beautiful poetic visuals with very disturbing violence that somehow never cheapens what you saw before, but somehow enhances it. Kristin Scott Thomas also co-stars.

Before Midnight. 05/24/2013.

The third in Richard Linklater’s trilogy(“Before Sunrise” “Before Sunset“) about a couple who first met on a train in Vienna is being released this year. No one has been able to capture what it feels like to fall in love more than these movies do. I know a lot of people complain that all it is just talking but isn’t that what most of our relationships are based on, communication. Not all of us are going to get the chance to rescue the girl from evil forces and save the day. Sometimes the biggest struggle is to keep that level of conversation alive and well in the relationship you’re in. I’m excited to have these two characters back again, but I still feel like the second one ended perfectly and it didn’t need to go on from there, but a lot of other people said that about the first one too.

The Great Gatsby. 05/10/2013

I know this is considered to be one of the greatest american novels ever written, but I was very much bored when I read it. This new version does  have some pretty cool visuals and it is nice seeing DiCaprio reteam with director Luhrmann after “William Shakespeare’s Romeo + Juliet“. Still don’t know why this is being done in 3D but it could work.

Grown Ups 2. 07/12/2013.

There really isn’t anything much I can say about this. Either you loved the first one and will see this or you despised it like I did and won’t.

Desperate Acts of Magic. 05/03/2013.

Is Hollywood trying to convince us that magic acts are suddenly cool again. They gave us that “Burt Wonderstone” flick earlier this year, and we still have that one heist magic movie with that kid from “The Social Network“(“Now You See Me“) being released shortly. As for this movie, it looks bad. It has every single romantic comedy trope that has been done to death before.You could have had these characters do a wide assortment of other jobs and it would still be the same movie.

Planes. 08/09/2013

I love the use of White Zombie’s song “More Human than Human” being used in a Disney Trailer(Especially if you heard the full uncut version), but if that is the only thing that impresses me about a movie.It’s not one I think I should see. Hopefully a longer trailer will explain more of what this story is all about.

The Conjuring. 07/19/2013

Two paranormal research experts(Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson) investigate a house that… I’m gonna stop right there because we have seen this story all to many times before. I like the cast in this, but this does come from James Wan who made the highly overrated(in my opinion) film “Insidious” that a lot of people really liked. So if you are one of those. This may speak to you more.

You’re Next. 08/23/2013

The home invasion movies are another horror staple that has been used a lot in the past(“Funny Games“, “The Strangers“) but I have never seen one where one of the victims fights back with the same type of gruesome violence as their perpetrators do. It looks like a really violent version of “Home Alone” The use of  Lou Reed”s “Perfect Day” works really well and I can’t wait to go check this out when it opens.

The English Teacher. 05/17/2013

Julianne Moore plays a very strict by the book woman who has sex with one of her former students and soon falls in love with his father.  It’s one of those stories that wants you to like this kind of character because she is exploring more about herself and the mistakes we learn from, but these people look like guests on a tabloid talk show 

What do you think of this week’s picks. What would you see and what would you skip.

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2 Responses to Trailer Trashing with The Vern: 04/09/2013.

  1. I’d see:
    Carrie
    Only God Forgives
    The Great Gatsby
    The Conjuring
    You’re Next
    The English Teacher

    Skip the rest. I loved Insidious! How could you not like it? You’re Next looks great. I thought The English Teacher was like a dark drama or something. Was shocked to discover it’s a comedy.

    I don’t think Sandler gives a shit anymore. Great batch of trailers!

  2. The Vern says:

    Insidious felt like the director was trying to hard to bring me the scares. It featured all of the usual tropes associated with that genre. I was surprised that English Teacher was a comedy too. Thanks for the comment

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